


it's never too late (to come back to my side)

by beepbedeep



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Baby it's cold outside!, F/F, kya is SO GOOD AT WATERBENDING!!!!, learning how to love!, toph and sokka #coparenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beepbedeep/pseuds/beepbedeep
Summary: When she’s a little older Lin will marvel at her uncle’s ability to ease tension with a laugh, to make Su sit quietly and her mom relax. Lin’s never been talkative or shameless the way Su and Kya are, but Uncle Sokka always makes her laugh, his patient, proud eyes waiting for her to tell him how she’s doing. Basically, Lin’s life isn’tlackinganything.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II, Toph Beifong/Sokka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	it's never too late (to come back to my side)

_Oh, you poor thing._ If Lin had to pick one phrase that's popped up more than any other, more than _Bumi’s it!_ or _you can do better than this_ , it would be that, syrupy and too-sweet, like the last bits of cotton candy on a hot day, dripping with false sympathy and poorly concealed judgment. The thing is, newly-23 Lin, freshly graduated from the academy, can’t stop thinking about how she’s a _real adult now_ , and also how that’s the _biggest lie ever_ because all Lin does is pretend she knows what’s going on. 

And everyone believes her all the time, which is hypothetically better than them not believing her, but she kind of wants someone to _call her on the bullshit_ , on the pretending she knows what’s going on, on how she hangs back from everything so she doesn’t mess up, for someone who loves her to say _hey. Really?_ Lin Beifong has a degree, and a job, has been living on her own for the past five years and basically taking care of herself long before that, she’s _fine_ , and also she really wants a hug. 

But anyway. That’s not the point. 

The _point_ is that she’s been thinking about everything leading up to this recently, like her tactics mentor taught them, _you have to understand where something comes from to know where it’s going_. And Lin isn’t much for retrospection, she knows the good parts of her life and can deal with the bad, but she’s never thought about all the pity people have given her so freely before. None of her childhood friends would ever be pitied by moms dropping their kids off at school, or the fruit stand owners she walks by every day, or the people her mom works with. Bumi, Kya, and Tenzin are _children of the avatar_ (and her Aunt Katara, which Lin has always secretly thought was the better part of that deal) and Izumi’s going to run the whole Fire Kingdom one day, but then there’s _Lin_. Lin with the unpredictable sister and mom who works most nights and no dad to be found. The dad thing has always been a sticking point for people, anyone eager to tear her mother down for being a bad parent, to reason out why Lin shouldn’t be invited to any birthday parties. 

And Lin has _never_ understood why they cared about that. Even now she doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand how all the real, important stuff could be happening in the world but her classmates’ moms still had time to turn their faux-soft eyes on her, on her mismatched socks and ability to walk herself home and croon _oh, well if only she had a father_. (It’s not even like she’s alone. She always leaves with Bumi and Kya, clinging tightly to both their hands in an uncharacteristic request for support, and Aunt Katara smiles just as big when Lin walks into the kitchen as she does at the sight of her own kids, but all the adults at school who don’t like her mom still won’t make eye contact with Lin, even as they pity her. 

(And _yes_ , Lin understands that her mom is difficult, understands it probably better than anyone, but the thing is that she _loves her mom_ , and that her mom loves her back and Lin actually _wouldn’t_ change the situation if she could.) 

Once Bumi asks her what’s wrong when they’re leaving (Kya never pushes stuff like this, she always waits until Lin always something first, but Bumi has no qualms about butting in, which is why she loves them both.) and she asks before she can clamp her mouth shut, _why do they think it’s so bad?_

_What?_

_That I don’t have a dad?_

And Kya’s hand tightens around hers as Bumi scrunches his face in concentration for a second, _I think they’re worried you won’t know what love is._

_Bumi!_

_Whaaat Kya?_

_That’s not true!_ Kya turns to Lin with her wide earnest eyes, eyes that Lin thinks she could swim in, or at least stick her finger in really far. _That’s not true Lin._

_I didn’t say it was TRUE, I said it’s what they think._

_Really?_ Lin’s never thought about this possibility before. 

_Yeah! Like we have mom and dad, but you only have your mom so I guess they think you’re missing out, but I don’t think that’s true._

_It’s ABSOLUTELY not true!_

(Kya, pushing Lin’s demons as far away as possible since age eight.) (Years later Lin will think about telling her to stop, smiling and saying _you know I don’t need you to protect me, right?_ but Kya’s the only person who’s ever seen Lin as someone who needs to be protected, someone who could break, and when she slings her arm around Lin’s shoulders, whispering something in her ear, Lin kind of wants to be protected, so she never brings it up.) 

They drop the conversation, running on their tiny legs to catch the island boat before it leaves, and Lin spends the whole ride over watching Kya watch the water, because this things been happening recently where she can look at the water like she’s _talking_ to it. But later, when Lin is home it pops back into her head. _They think you won’t understand love._ And just when she’s about to ask her mom Toph smiles in this _special_ way, and Lin smiles too because she knows what’s coming next. 

Uncle Sokka blows into the room, the way he always does, Su and something that smells like dinner in tow. Lin knows her uncle isn’t a bender, but something about the way he moves, dropping Su at the table with Lin, sliding bowls out of the cabinet, and pulling all the food out of the bag in the same amount of time it takes Lin to push her school papers to the side, that reminds her of the way her aunt propels water. He tugs her mom down next to him, helps Su reach for her water, and grins at Lin, _how was school today, wildcat?_ As Lin tells him, he slides his arm around Toph’s shoulders, and when she’s a little older Lin will marvel at her uncle’s ability to ease tension with a laugh, to make Su sit quietly and her mom relax. Lin’s never been talkative or shameless the way Su and Kya are, but Uncle Sokka always makes her laugh, his patient, proud eyes waiting for her to tell him how she’s doing. 

Basically, Lin’s life isn’t _lacking_ anything. It’s always been full of people who love her, people who play with her, people who feed her and show her how to do things and tuck her in at night. She sleeps on Airbender Island just as much as she sleeps in the city, and Aunt Katara’s food feels as much like home as Uncle Zuko’s spicy cologne and her mom’s back rubs. (Lin gave up on fighting this point years ago, partially to keep up the street cred and partially because no one believes her, but Toph can be so gentle with her kids – when she’s not trying to impart important life lessons. Lin has never felt unloved, not when her mom teaches her how to see the world with her feet and strokes Lin’s forehead as she falls asleep. And if there are gaps, times when her mom forgets to come home before midnight or doesn’t buy Su shoes that fit, Uncle Sokka is always there to help. Lin never questions why he’s always there for them, not until she’s older, because his presence makes their family complete, he’s _obviously_ a part of it, they don’t work right without him. 

(Lin vaguely remembers a time before Su was born when it was just her and Toph, in their old apartment where Lin almost fell off the balcony, her mom’s fiercely protective face kissing her goodbye and leaving her with Aunt Katara every day, but then her uncle was around more and her mom got happier and since Su was born he’s never been away for very long. His booming laugh and her mom’s piercing cackle become the unofficial soundtrack to her life, just as much as Izumi’s _you can’t catch me_ and Tenzin’s _wait up!!!_ )

(Really, this is why she doesn’t understand what Bumi said. Lin _knows_ about love. She sees her aunts and uncles all the time, how Uncle Aang kisses the side of her aunt’s head, how Uncle Zuko and Mai smile at each other when they don’t think anyone is looking. And she sees her mom, how she leans into Uncle Sokka when she thinks no one can see.)

Once a year they all make a trip down to the southern waterbenders. Bumi, Kya, and Tenzin go even more often, but every winter they _all_ go, Izumi and Lin equally unused to the cold, accompanied by Su who refuses to wear a coat until Aunt Mai tries to get it on her. It’s _so_ fun, the snow makes everything look so different than at home that Lin doesn’t think anything bad can get to her here, and Aunt Katara always looks so happy to be back. (Kya’s been looking like that too, like she _belongs here_ , and Lin doesn’t want to think about what that means.) Bumi throws snowballs indiscriminately, Tenzin hides from them behind his dad’s legs, the food is warm, the fires smell different, it’s easy and safe and by the end, each time, Lin never wants to go home. 

But her mom doesn’t like it. Lin knows that as clearly as she knows her aunt breathes more easily here, the same way she sees Uncle Sokka’s shoulders relax and Aang’s smile grow. Toph might even _hate it_ , and Lin doesn’t understand why until she realizes her mom _can’t see_. Lin never even thinks about that, because her mom can see everywhere else, but then she gets it. She knows her mom, she loves her, and more than that she _understands_ , knows enough about the way her mom grew up to get that she needs to be alert all the time, that she needs to know what’s happening around her. Each year, as everyone else packs their warmest clothes and dreams about snowflakes, Toph prepares to _blind herself_ , to give up her whole way of making sense of the world. But, Lin’s mom doesn’t do _anything_ she doesn’t want to do, so she kind of can’t figure out why Toph does it? 

That year when they go, the minute Bumi yells out to them from Appa to _get on already!_ Lin feels her mom _tense_ , feels the panic that sets in when they leave the ground, and Lin can’t believe she’s never noticed this before. She almost asks to go back, almost says _mom I don’t feel good can we go home I don’t really want to go this year_ , because her mom is so many things and scared is _not_ one of them. 

But then Uncle Sokka sits down next to Toph, so smoothly that Lin almost doesn’t notice, between Tenzin and Kya shouting, and the mittens Izumi is crying about not fitting, but one minute Sokka’s all the way on the other side of the throng, holding her mom’s hand so tightly it doesn’t seem like he’ll _ever_ let go. 

And he doesn’t.

Lin watches the whole time, one eye on Bumi and Su’s slap fight, both ears on Kya’s list of everything she wants to do when they get there, and one eye on her mom. But her uncle never lets go. It’s Aang that grabs Su before she falls out of her seat, Katara who offers Lin some lunch and when they land (Lin sees her mom wince, Uncle Sokka whispering something in her ear.) everyone charges onto the ground, Kya leading the charge, and Lin wants to run with her but instead she hangs back, watching how Uncle Sokka _still_ hasn’t let go, but instead helps her mom to the ground, and it’s kind of weird, because her mom never needs help, but here she is, in front of everyone, letting someone help her move, and Lin doesn’t know what to make of it. 

She’s pulled ahead by Izumi’s cheers as Uncle Aang waits for her, and so she runs up, leaving her mom to pick her way across the ice, Sokka’s firm hands on her the whole way. 

They stay like that the whole trip, Lin is used to seeing her mom and uncle next to each other, but this is different, this is more than normal, and yet all she can think is that despite how miserable she knows her mom is, she also seems like she’s having _fun_. She and Sokka spend the time trading jokes that Lin doesn’t really understand, but Aunt Karata blushes at the punchlines, and Lin knows that Sokka is keeping an eye on her and Su, because her mom can’t, and he makes sure they’re in bed at the right time, helps Lin find her gloves when she loses one in the snow. He finds it so fast it seems like magic, until Lin remembers that this is his home too, this is his favorite place just like it is Kya’s and maybe _that’s_ why her mom comes every year. 

Yesterday she saw them walking on one of the paths leading out from the main camp, holding hands like they always are here (once he stood up a little too fast and Toph clutched at his arm with a look Lin _never_ sees on her mom’s face, something that looked like desperation, and Lin was almost knocked over by how much her mom needs him here, how much she must trust him to keep her safe.) and Lin saw her mom smiling, saw Uncle Sokka’s face all lit up, talking about something that she thinks might have been the snow, and Toph is laughing when he pauses for effect, reaching down to feel the snow too, and when she stands back up Uncle Sokka pulls her even closer, hugging her from behind, and maybe it’s so she won’t fall, but then Lin sees her mom relax all the way back, letting him hold her up when she can’t see anything, and she’s still laughing at whatever he’s saying. 

Lin wonders if this is like when she goes swimming because it makes Kya happy, even though she kind of hates being wet, if her mom just likes being around Uncle Sokka happy like this enough that she comes here with him, lets him show her all his favorite places, as long as he promises to hold her hand. 

That night around the fire while her mom listens to something the other adults are saying, Lin climbs into her uncle’s lap. He makes room for her plate next to his and ruffles her hair, _what’s going on wildcat?_

_Uncle Sokka, can I ask you a question?_

_Anything, kiddo._

_Why do you hold mom’s hand all the time here? Wouldn’t you rather be doing other stuff?_

He quiets for a minute, in what Lin knows is his actually-thinking face. _Nope. When your mom comes down here, I like helping her._

_Why?_

_Because I care about her. And when you care about people, spending time with them is fun._

_Oh._

_We take care of each other, your mom and me. And we both take care of you and Su._

_I think you guys do a good job_ , Lin says it with all the authority her young heart can muster. 

He laughs, the same laugh that makes her mom smile against her will when she’s tired, the laugh that Su claps for. _I’m glad you think so, Lin. Now, did you get enough food? In the cold you have to-_

 _Eat more! I knowwww!_

He winks, Lin grabs something off his plate, and then she crawls between him and her mom, their interlocked hands in front of her. And right here, squished between them and exhausted by all the sledding she's been obsessed with, Lin falls asleep.

So yeah. No one needs to worry about Lin. She knows what love is. She says as much to Kya one day when they’re sitting on the edge of one of their favorite Airbender Island docks, Kya trailing her toes in the water while Lin intentionally keeps her feet dry. Kya’s hair is blowing every which way and Lin is trying to not get distracted by the way it shines. She’s failing. 

(Thinking about their childhood South Pole adventures twinges more than usually lately, Kya keeps going to visit for longer and longer and Lin feels a breaking point coming, doesn’t know what she’ll do in a city without her favorite person.) 

Kya looks at her for a long moment, confusion written across her face. _What??_

_Bumi said I didn’t. Like fifteen years ago._

_Oh. He’s an idiot._

_That’s what you said then too._

_Well I stand by it!_ Kya giggles, leans forward to brush Lin’s hair out of her face. _I hate that people were mean to you when we were little._

_It’s ok._

_No, it isn’t! You’re so great, and they just. Ugh._

_But I had you guys. So I was ok._

_You sure?_

_Yeah. I wouldn’t have known what to do with more friends anyway._

_We love you. So much._

_I know. Man, being an adult sucks._

_It REALLY does! But also, it’s cool? I guess? To do stuff you like._

Lin sighs, takes a breath so deep she feels it in the soles of her feet. _You’re leaving again soon aren’t you._

_I think so. It’s important, what I’m doing-_

_I know. I know. I just miss you._

_I miss you too._ Kya leans her head against Lin’s shoulder. _I’ll be back, though. I’m always back for you. Little miss girl-who-knows-what-love-is._

Lin blushes, _that’s not fair! I was correcting an assumption._

Kya chuckles, and then all of a sudden she’s staring into Lin’s eyes, and Lin has never been able to stay cool against the _full force of Kya_. And then Kya’s kissing her, kissing her on the same dock Tenzin got pushed off of when they were all learning how to swim, and her mouth is soft, her hands are warm, and Lin could stay like this forever. 

When they do pull back, Lin’s head swimming, Kya reaches out and taps her shoulder, so slowly that Lin aches. _Don’t worry, I know you. Lin Beifong_ gets _love._


End file.
